Crazy.

One week ago today Grandpa was admitted to the hospital for what was supposed to be a three day stay to adjust medications. Today he *might* get to come home. Friday they did the EP study to test his heart. Saturday they gave him a pacemaker. Once he is discharged they are going to have to try to figure out why his hemoglobin levels are so low. If he has to stay on the blood thinner (most likely because of Atriral Fibrillation) he will have to go to the Oncology Clinic for iron transfusions. We have a long road ahead. Please say some prayers for him.

Things have been crazy and I am exhausted, but I am so thankful that I am staying at home. I have been at the hospital every day. I love being able to help out and getting to spend precious time with my grandparents.

I want to say how proud I am of Kinnison! She was awarded Tiger of the Month. She got a certificate, free kids meal at Dennys, a shirt and her picture will be in the paper. She is such a sweet, smart, fun little girl. She is doing so well with reading and writing. We are very, very proud.

I had Kanyon's pictures taken two weeks ago. They turned out really well. He is so handsome!

Kimber is going to be four this month. How is that possible?

Prayers Please.

Where do I begin?

Grandpa hasn't been feeling well for a long time, but Friday he started getting worse. He has been short of breath because of fluid on his lungs. He has been to the doctor many times. They have tried medications and inhalers, but nothing helped. The last resort was to put him in the hospital to see if they could change any medications. He had a terrible weekend, so he went to the hospital on Monday morning. Once they started testing him they figured out that he had a low heart rate, low hemoglobin level, internal bleeding, and many other things wrong with him. Lastnight his heart rate dropped way too low. They did two blood transfusions last night and gave him some medicine to help with the fluid. Today they gave him an iron transfusion. His breathing and color were much better today! Once they get his blood where it needs to be they are going to start working on the heart. He is going to need to go through some tests and will probably get a pacemaker at the end of this week. After his heart rate stabilizes they are talking about doing another test to find out where the internal bleeding is. He will be 84 in April. I know that IT is going to happen, but I am not ready. Not now. He has a bad heart, bad lungs, prostate cancer, skin cancers....the list goes on, but he is one of the strongest people I know! He is the heart and soul of our family! Please remember him (and us) in your prayers.

Luke's Uncle Rod passed away tonight. He was at Washington Regional in the CCU. He was on a ventilator and they took him off of it tonight. He was diagnosed with liver failure a few months ago. Everyone knew it was coming, but it has been really hard on them all. Please remember them in your prayers as well.

Finally, I found out today that I have another ovarian cyst. It is small and should resolve on its own. Pray that it does because I need to focus on my family.

Thank you!

Love,

Proud.

I am so proud of Kimber. I talked her into donating her hair, but she would never commit to making an appointment. Yesterday she told me she wanted to do it and kept asking me when she was going to get her hair cut. She talked to her daddy on the phone about it and she said, "Mom, ask daddy I am getting a shortcut." It was cute. That translates into "tell daddy am getting my hair cut short." Anyway, she did great and she looks adorable! I am so proud of her!

7 Months?

Kanyon is 7 months old today. Is that even possible? He got three more teeth this week. Tuesday night he was extremely fussy. I knew something was going on because he is always happy. We got about 3 hours of sleep. The next morning I thought he felt warm. I took his temp and it was 101. I made him a doctor appointment for 2:00. By the time we got to the doctor his temp was 103. He was very lethargic. He just felt awful. His left ear has a bad infection. This is the same ear that was infected last time. I hope it doesn't keep giving us trouble! He felt much better today. Hopefully he will continue to improve. There are so many scary viruses going around.

Kinnison lost her fourth tooth this week. That doesn't seem possible either. She and her sister were goofing off and someone how Kinnison head butted Kimber. The tooth was really loose before, but it started bleeding after the collision. It made her sick to her stomach. She didn't want to pull it though. Later that day we went to Wal Mart. Kimber gave Kinnison a piece of gum and the first chew pulled it right out! She has two more loose already! She is still doing well in school. I read a new book to her lastnight and she read it back to me and only missed a couple words. She is such a smart girl.

Kimber is advancing also. She can write all the letters in her name without help, but sometimes forgets what letter comes next. She is counting to 10 without missing any numbers now. She knows all of her shapes and colors. She has come such a long way this year. She is a very smart girl. She is a very ornery girl. She thinks it is fun to run around naked and talk dirty. (poo poo head) She is still the comedian in the family.

I read a really good article this week. I could totally relate to it. I really appreciated the honesty!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

"There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least."

Isn't that the truth!? Some days I count down the minutes until bed time! (and naptime) At the end of the day I think, "I survived another day!" Then I dig deep for motivation to prepare for one more day. Do I enjoy everything that staying at home entails? Nope. Will I miss it one day? Yup. Parenting is hard. The stress, worry, guilt, and tough decisions never end, but it is totally worth it.

I am so incredibly blessed!

DIY Kitchen

Ever since I became addicted to Pinterest I have wanted to build a kitchen for the kids out of some old piece of furniture. A few months ago I went to an auction with my Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Donna and Uncle Jim. I wasn't paying attention and realized they were auctioning off an entertainment center. I threw my hand up, no else bid and I had no idea what I paid. I thought it was a couple dollars. I was wrong. It was ONE dollar.

This is what we started with:

This is the finished product:

The picture in the window was taken in the top field at the farm where Luke and I got married!

Luke and I had a lot of fun building this for the kids. We tried to use neutral colors so Kanyon could play with it also. Luke's Grandpa got the girls new play food and some pots and pans. Luke and I bought them some kitchen utensils. Meme and I made them aprons. They even got matching aprons for their dolls. We worked on it when they were in bed or at school. We hid it in the garage. On Christmas Eve we moved it into the living room. They didn't even notice it on Christmas morning! They have already enjoyed making us meals.

Here is a breakdown of the costs:

Entertainment Center	$ 1.00
Backing	$15.00
Paint	$12.00
Dog Dish	$ 4.00
Handles	$ 4.57
Hinges	$ 5.14
Hooks	$ 2.57
Burners/Knobs	$ 2.00
Dowel Rod	$ 0.40
Trim For Window	$ 3.12
Curtains	$ 2.44
Faucet	$ 3.00
Plexiglass	$ 3.00
TOTAL	$58.24

We already had scrap wood for the back, so we spent around $40 for the entire project!

Happy New Year!

Looking Back at 2011

January

We found out our sweet baby was a BOY!

February

Kimber turned 3!

March

Both girls had pneumonia and were very sick.

April

Meme was hospitalized and had surgery. She also moved back in with Mom and Dad. We are so thankful she is doing better and living with them again. The kids love seeing her more often!

Kinnison lost her first tooth!

May

Kinnison played her first T-Ball Game.

Luke's brother Kyle was in a bad car accident.

Luke's family survived the terrible tornado in Joplin.

June

Kanyon James joined our family!

July

We celebrated Grandma and Grandpa's 60th Wedding Anniversary!

Gammy and Pappy took us to Oklahoma.

Luke turned 30!

August

We went to Gulf Shores.

We said goodbye to Lolly. We were heartbroken. Still are.

Kinnison started Kindergarten!

September

October

Kanyon got his first two teeth!

November

Kinnison turned 6!

December

Luke and I celebrated our 9th Anniversary.

He surprised me with this!

I really hope that today is not an indication of how 2012 is going to be. It was bad.

My big diet starts tomorrow. Must. Lose. Weight. I was doing really good with diet and exercise up until two weeks ago. I fell off the wagon. Bad. I think I gained about 2.5 lbs back. My goal is 15 lbs, but I would be ecstatic if I lost 10lbs before our vacation in July. Wish me luck!

We are wishing you and your family a Blessed and Happy New Year!

In a funk.

This time of year always gets me in a funk. After Christmas reality hits me hard. The year is almost over. 2012 is rapidly approaching. Where did this year go? Where have they all gone? My babies are growing up so fast. Too fast. It is really getting me down. I don't want them to grow up!! My Grandparents and my Meme are aging every day. I hate it. I can't imagine my world without them in it.

I spend so much time worrying about how fast time is going by and what the future will hold, that I am missing out on the present.

The girls and I have been butting heads lately. I love them so much it hurts, but right now I don't like them very much. They have been down right defiant. I constantly have to repeat myself. They don't follow house rules. They bicker with each other daily. I am constantly griping, nagging, and threatening. It sucks. The other night Kimber said I was mean. It is true. I have been mean. I have been mean every day. I have tried everything I know to correct their behavior and have resorted to yelling. Mother of the year. Now, don't get me wrong...even on their worst day they are a bajillion times better than most kids I am around in public. They are easy going, sweet, compassionate, smart, loving, fun kids, but I am trying to teach them accountability, respect and obedience. My biggest struggle is to get them to pick up after themselves. They used to be good at it, but they have become lazy. Perhaps I do too much for them? If they open food, they leave the trash on the table. If they take off clothes, they leave them on the floor. I have to ask a thousand times for them to pick up their toys. I don't think I am asking too much.

2012 is going to be a big year for us. Luke and I are going to start living a healthier lifestyle. He is cutting back on fast food, portions and sweets. I have started working out on the elliptical. I already gave up my ice cream and Dr. Pepper. We eliminated pop at our house months ago. We are going to be eliminating candy bars, oreos ect. Will we splurge? You bet. But, the kids have picked up on our habits and eat way too much junk! I think the entire Hamilton House needs an attitude adjustment, starting with me and Luke! I have begged Luke to lead the kids by example. He doesn't pick up after himself either and I often have to ask him more than once to do something. There are so many days that I am caught up in what needs to get done, what has to get done that I don't enjoy a single minute of it. Staying at home is hard. My days are monotonous. I am constantly correcting kids and cleaning house. I feel like I sometimes take my kids for granted. They are miracles. I went through a lot to get them here and I need to cherish every moment I have with them! I stress about things that don't matter and don't get to enjoy my children! I am praying I can change that!

2012 New Year's Resolution

Lose 15lbs

Eat Healthier

Exercise More

Quit Cussing

More Patience

Focus On My Family (less time cleaning, on the phone/internet ect)

Merry Christmas!

Saturday night we went to my Mom and Dad's House. We ate, opened presents and decorated sugar cookies and gingerbread houses. Sunday morning we opened presents here. They got lots of goodies. They are definitely spoiled! One of our favorite traditions is waffles on Christmas morning. After breakfast and clean up we went to the farm for Christmas lunch. The weather was beautiful. We even did our gift exchange outside in the front yard! It was a great Christmas and many wonderful memories were made!

Here are some professional pictures we had taken last month.

Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

Love,

One year ago...

Kimber was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia.

It was physically and emotionally exhausting. It was one of the scariest things I have ever went through. I am glad I blogged about it then because most of the details are a blur now, but I will never forget how hard it was to see her in pain, to see her SO sick, to see them poke her and run tests on her, and to know we would miss out on some of our favorite Christmas Traditions! We are so thankful that she is healthy this year. We will pray for all the families that have loved ones, especially children, in the hospital, especially on Christmas.

Kanyon hit the six month mark this week, which doesn't seem possible. He had his six month checkup yesterday. He had to get four shots. He was such a big boy. He barely cried. He is trying to sit up, but falls forward. He has started watching The Backyardigans. Kinnison and Kimber both loved that show. I am he will love it too! He is such a happy boy. He loves to jabber and laugh all the time. He is trying to hold his bottle on his own. He loves to get two handfuls of my hair when I kiss him. If we take a nap together he plays with my hair until he falls asleep. If he is sleeping by himself he plays with a blanket until he falls asleep. His favorite is a frog blankie his Auntie Fran bought him. He loves to rub it on his face. He has brought so much happiness to our lives. We love him so much! I can't wait to see him on Christmas Day. Six months is such a fun age!

Kinnison is on Christmas Break! She and her sister are having a hard time following the rules and doing what they are asked, but I am still really excited to have her home with us. I miss her being here. She is a big help and always makes us laugh. We had a lot of fun when we were all home together. I'm ready for summer vacation!

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday Luke and I celebrated nine years together, which doesn't seem possible. Honestly, every year gets better. Luke and I don't always see eye to eye. He loves to give me a hard time and I have gotten really good at giving it right back to him. We fight hard, but we love even harder. We aren't the same people we were nine years ago. I love him differently. I love him more, which I didn't think was possible. We have evolved into something much different. We are a crazy, chaotic, loud, sleep deprived team. Our daily routine resembles a tag team wrestling match. We are outnumbered, but I thank God every day that I have my three beautiful kids. I have the most wonderful life and I can't imagine sharing it with anyone else.

To celebrate Luke and I left Tuesday and went to Mt. Magazine . We stayed at the lodge. It was absolutely beautiful. We hiked the trail to the highest point in Arkansas.

When we stopped to take a picture Luke surprised me with a beautiful three stone diamond ring that I had picked out a few weeks ago. Luke never surprises me. He doesn't do romance. He rarely buys me things. I was SHOCKED. I am cheap and after showing him the ring I told he better not buy it for me because there is no way we can afford it right now. He did buy it and I love it. The whole time we were there it snowed. It was fabulous. We went to dinner at the Skycrest Resteraunt. The food was wonderful. We had an amazing view, a cozy fire and we were the only people there! That night we went to swim and we were the only people there too! It was an amazing trip that I won't ever forget.

Our trip wouldn't have been possible without my mom. She watched our little herd so we could go. THANK YOU!

On a side note, Michelle Duggar miscarried her 20th child today. I know that a lot of people don't agree with their way of life, but I think they are a wonderful family. They have done a better job with nineteen than most people do with one. Some of those people say, "there is no way they can give those children enough attention". But, so many people these days have different priorities. They may spend 40+ hours a week at work while someone else raises their children. The Duggars also support themselves instead of living off the government. I am not condemning either of those things. Do what you have to do. I just wish people wouldn't be so quick to judge others. I have seen some really awful comments on Facebook. Christian or not, please have enough respect not to kick someone while they are down. This miscarriage was not "a sign from God to tell them to stop reproducing". I miscarried my 2nd and 3rd child. If I had taken that as a sign and given up Kimber and Kanyon wouldn't be here. When I had my miscarriages I had people say some really awful things to me and they were trying to help. I cannot imagine going through it and having to deal with all the horrible, mean things people are saying. No matter if it is your 1st child or your 20th, you are 4 weeks or 20 weeks, losing a child is devastating. Please say a prayer for the entire Duggar family.